Memoir of an Unknown Autobot
by Autobot StarRacer
Summary: "I am the shadow without a face. Without a voice. My time is now up, and I can no longer watch my sparkmate live his life without me. He's found a new femme, but I understand. I mean, we all need someone to care for and to be cared by in the end. Even autobot leaders." -Sundance, deceased autobot. OP/OC pairing. OOCness common. PRIME ONE SHOT


**VERY random one-shot idea that popped into my head tonight! Okay, okay I know I'm procrastinating on updating Beyond Your Imagination BUT I'M DEALING WITH WRITERS BLOCK!**

**BEGIN!**

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I smiled as I watched the autobots interact with their new human friends. Arcee was still distraught after the recent death of Cliffjumper but Jack was helping her cope. Optimus seemed happy that his soldiers were now happier. Optimus. The mech I fell in love with. The one I've been searching for ever since my disappearance. I placed my servo against the invisible barrier holding me back from the others. I felt energon tears running down my faceplate as I watched him talk about further plans against the decepticons after the space bridge explosion.

"So bossbot, why are you always so serious?" Miko, the femme human, asked. Why? Why? Because of all the loses he's suffered but he remains silent! I put my other servo over my spark in pain. He never told anyone about me, not even Ratchet who was his best friend. I felt a presence beside me and I turned my helm to see Primus' "Cybertronian form" standing there. He looked as if he felt bad for putting me in this situation.

"Optimus sure is lucky to have this team. The humans will be helpful in the future and aide in many problems. Especially that black haired boy, Jack." Primus observed. I looked over at Jack with a small smile. He was very loyal and wise it seemed. I closed my optics and sighed, not wanting to be in Limbo any longer. Primus noticed but still didn't turn to me. "What is it that you want? I thought you didn't want to leave Optimus?"

"I don't want to leave Optimus, but I can't stay like this forever. It's hard to watch him continue on while I'm stuck in Limbo. He never told anyone about our relationship because he wanted to keep me safe. Didn't work too well since I was killed in an explosion caused by decepticons." I mumbled. I felt my spark shatter when I saw how relaxed Optimus was around Arcee…only Arcee. I know he has the right to move on but it still hurts. "Can I just make one request?"

I waited in the forest landscape for what seemed like forever. Finally Optimus' sleeping form appeared and I couldn't help but smile. Sure this was all just his dream now but I had to speak to him one last time before I move on to the Well of Sparks. Primus had agreed to let me be with him one last time. When Optimus sat up in confusion I couldn't hold back any longer and threw myself against him and hugged him tightly.

"Optimus I can't believe Primus is actually letting me see you again! Please tell me you remember me! Please tell me you haven't forgotten me!" I pleaded as sobs wracked my form. Optimus hugged me tight but didn't otherwise respond. I knew he recognized me and that's all that mattered. We stayed like that for a few minutes until I calmed down long enough to look up into his teary optics. I was one of the few bots who ever saw true emotion come from Optimus unless he was severely pissed off.

"My sweetspark, my lovely Sundance, how could I ever forget you? I still cannot erase the pain completely from my spark when your death destroyed our bond. I can't believe I even survived the trauma." Optimus whispered. I put a servo on his chassis over his spark and sighed sadly. He used his servo that wasn't wrapped around my waist to lift my chin and kissed me. Primus I owe you one for this! It's felt like an eternity since I've been in his arms. I wonder if the fact that I'm offlined fazes him at all as he kissed me. Guess he never thought about it.

"Optimus…it wasn't my death that severed our bond. I knew I was going to offline and if you offlined because of it then the autobots would have no hope. I'm sorry but I severed our bond right before I offlined. I only wanted to protect you." I admitted after we broke the kiss. Tears were still running down his cheekplates so I wiped them away with my thumb. I nuzzled my faceplate into his neckcables like a sparkling wanting to be held closer. "I can't stay, I made my decision to go to the Well of Sparks. I've been watching you and the other autobots ever since I died. But I can't keep doing it, I have to move on."

"I understand you cannot stay but at least give me a little longer with you right now." Optimus pleaded. Of course I'm going to be here for a while longer you silly Prime! I thought about how close he was getting to Arcee and I knew I was the one holding him back from moving on. I pulled away and kissed him one more time to gain the strength I needed to say this next part. Primus, please help me say what I need to say. I pulled away and looked straight into his optics.

"I also know that you've grown close to the femme Arcee…" I added. Optimus looked taken back by my statement. He apparently didn't know that I knew about their blooming relationship. "I also know you're not going any farther with it because you didn't want to replace me. I've seen you talking to yourself in your quarters, debating whether or not it'd be okay. Optimus, I'm offline and there's nothing that can change that. Arcee is an amazing femme but she can't wait forever for you to admit your feelings. I want you to be happy, I want you to move on. You can't keep holding onto the past like this."

"I…I didn't know you were watching or listening. I shouldn't have let my feelings for Arcee be so obvious…but I'm not sure I'm ready to have another femme in my life. I feel like I'm replacing you and I can't stand the thought of you possibly feeling betrayed because of it." Optimus whispered sorrowfully. Primus, he was taking my death harder than I originally thought. I held his faceplate in my servos and I stroked his cheekplate soothingly with a sad smile.

"I will never feel betrayed, you were loyal until the very end. It's too late for you and I to live together and not worry about hiding it, but it's not for you and Arcee. I'm actually old friends with Arcee and I know for a fact that she's liked you ever since you guys met. If you really don't feel ready then still confess your feelings, but explain why. Tell her about you and I and how you're not sure that you're ready for a new relationship. She needs support now because of the death of Cliffjumper and she needs to know for sure if you love her or not. Tell her, for me." I requested. I felt myself slowly slipping away and I knew my time's up. That's when I remembered something important. "I have to go, but we will be reunited when all are one. I need to tell you one last thing: we have a son and he's very much alive. He'll be landing later on. His name's Smokescreen, don't forget it! He doesn't know he's your son or that I'm even dead so you have to tell him yourself. Stay safe sweetspark and remember that I love you."

"A…son? I'll never forget his name, I promise. I will tell him everything. I love you too." Optimus tightened his hold on me until I went to the Well of Sparks. Along the way I met up with an old friend of mine that just recently offlined on Earth. I smiled as Cliffjumper came up to me. I guess now would be a good time to explain who I really was to Optimus…

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**Poor Optimus! Poor Sundance!**

**Hehe couldn't resist making Smokescreen his son :P**

**Reviews are welcomed! :)**


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